Andy's Land of Adventure

REVIEW: The Holiday

The Holiday is this years seasonal feel-good movie featuring a horde of A-listers including Cameron Diaz, Jude Law, Kate Winslet and Jack Black, as well as a small and amusing cameo appearance from the legendary Dustin Hoffman.

The story follows Amanda (Diaz) and Iris (Winslet) who after their own personal horrors in love decide to embark on a house-swap to each others houses on the opposite side of the planet. Amanda is a rich, successful and intelligent movie commercial designer from LA where as Iris is a talented writer working for The Daily Telegraph in bustling London. They are both dropped into each others world in a bid to dispel their love demons, but have no expectations of meeting someone whilst on their holidays.

The first "match" that we're introduced to is the ever charming Graham (Law), the brother of Iris who drunkenly arrives at her door in the middle of the night only to find Amanda standing where he expected his sister to be. The chemistry between them is apparent immediately and they quickly move from the doorstep to the bedroom. If only real life was that easy.

Over in sunny LA, Iris meets the amusing Miles (Black) as he comes to collect a laptop from Amanda's mansion and instantly appeals to Iris, despite being attached to his girlfriend Maggie (Shannyn Sossamon).

As Amanda and Graham's time together continues, they grow to like each other more and more but struggle to see how it will ever work when Amanda goes back to LA to continue her glamorous lifestyle. Over the other side of the globe, Iris grows friendly with her neighbour, the writer Arthur Abbott (Eli Wallach) which impresses Miles greatly. They grow closer as friends alone, until he discovers that Maggie has been cheating on him whilst she was away working on a film set.

I don't want to say too much more else it will spoil the film for anyone who wants to go and see it, but let me assure you, this is one you will want to see. It has a touch of Bridget Jones' Diary, a hint of Alfie and a great big dollop of Love Actually and personally made me laugh loads, smile a lot and actually cry a fair bit too - yes, I'm a big softy when it comes to soppy films! Jude Law will pull at your heart strings, and if he isn't your idea of a "hottie" then Cameron Diaz will no doubt appeal. Kate Winslet will make you smile and restore your faith in humanity and Jack Black is as funny as ever.

Undoubtedly this is the feel-good film of the year that's a comedy, a story of love, but most of all, it's a film about realising that sometimes, the best things come through doors that you never even knew you'd left open.

REVIEW: Eragon

Ok, take a slice of Lord of the Rings, the dragon from Shrek 2, the magic elements from every Harry Potter film minus the realism and the scene from Star Wars Episode III where Anakin walks into the Jedi Temple and you've got the latest big screen fantasy, Eragon. Now, take the featured A-listers including John Malkovich, Jeremy Irons and Robert Carlyle and strip them of all of their acting talent, add a first time actor in the shape of Edward Speleers who would be better off sticking to creating home movies to post on YouTube and include a dragon with a voice like a six year old girl and you'll be getting a little closer to the real mark. Finally, include a script written by a failing GSCE student majoring in obvious plot lines and you're right on the money.

I'm not saying that Eragon is bad, I'm saying that if you go and see it you'll end up walking out, quite possibly before the end, wondering if there's any way that you can get those 104 minutes of your life back.

The story revolves around Eragon (Speleers), a young farm boy who discovers a dragon's egg, only to hatch it and find that he is the chosen "dragon rider" and that it is his destiny to defeat the evil King Galbatorix (Malkovich). He meets the lonesome Brom (Irons), who teaches him the skills and the magic used by the powerful dragon rider. If my counting of the timeline is correct, Eragon goes from being a lowly farm worker to a fully fledged and magical rider with sufficient ability to fight and kill the much feared shade, or sorceror, Durza (Carlyle) in just eight days. Team America World Police said it best. - "If you want to go, from a beginner to a pro you need a montage, montage". Yes, I've just revealed a massive spoiler, but if you and see this film, you evidently haven't read this review properly.

The best character in this film by a mile is the CGI generated dragon Saphira (voiced by Rachel Weisz) and is the only thing on the screen that actually appears constantly genuine, but I wrote a story about dragons when I was eight and they used telepathy to talk to humans, so I have to ask, where are all the new ideas these days?

I've gone on about this more than enough already, so it's roundup time. I give this film 1 out of 5 just because amazingly I have seen worse. If it's based on the books, which I fear it is, this is the first of a trilogy of films based on the rise of Eragon and the fall of King Galbatorix, but I sincerily hope that it is laid to rest before any more hours are ripped cruely from people's lives.

Review: Employee of the Month

So last night I went to the press screening of Employee of the Month

What the press release said about it...

For customers of Super Club, the largest high-volume, bulk-discount retailer in the country, membership has its privileges. For workers at the cavernous store, the most coveted honour is the “Employee of the Month” award, and having one’s photo immortalized on the wall of fame in the staff lounge.

Enter Zack Bradley (Dane Cook) and Vince Downey (Dax Shepard), two ultra competitive Super Club workers whose ten years of employment have resulted in drastically different career paths. While Vince – with the aid of his trusty sidekick Jorge (Efran Ramirez) – has advanced to become head cashier and winner of 17 consecutive “Employee of the Month” awards, Zack is the ultimate slacker whose scruffy appearance and laid-back attitude has made him popular with his colleagues, but kept him stuck in the lowly ranks of the store’s box boys. The duo’s long time rivalry comes to a bitter head when Amy (Jessica Simpson) – a beautiful new cashier with a reputation of only dating “Employee of the Month” winners – transfers to the store, immediately becoming the object of both Zack and Vince’s affection and often comical gamesmanship.

While Vince instantly impresses Amy with his crowd pleasing, flamboyant style behind this checkout register, Zack’s feeble attempts to charm his beautiful new co-worker quickly backfire against him. With the race to win Amy’s affections slipping away, Zack determines his only chance rests in winning the store’s next “Employee of the Month” award. A battle to the end, Employee of the Month shows that the only failure in life is when one fails to try.

And what I thought...

We all know the story.
Boy is slacker. Boy finds girl. Girl likes success. Boy tries to wise up. Other ‘better’ boy finds same girl. Boy one tries to out-do boy two to get girl. Boy messes up. Boy does better. Boys lock in competition. Boy two gets what he deserves… if you don’t know what I mean, think Dodgeball and you’re in the right area.

For me, the highlight of this film outside of Jessica Simpson’s ever impressive cleavage was the choice of the supporting cast, especially Efran Ramirez’s Jorge. Ramirez is best known for playing Pedro in the cult classic ‘Napoleon Dynamite’ and  is as dry, dim-witted but incredibly funny in Employee of the Month as he ever was. Zack’s ‘back-up’ include Andy Dick (The Andy Dick Show, Zoolander, Road Trip), Harland Williams (Dumb and Dumber, There’s Something About Mary, Freddy Got Fingered) and Brain George (Robin Hood Men In Tights, Ghost World, Touch of Pink). The mix of dry humour and outrageous character defects works really well in creating a strong second line cast, and they only help improve on the already obvious bitter rivalry between Zack and Vince.
Dane and Dax both play their roles exceptionally, and the introduction of the ever perky Jessica (and I DO mean that in more than one way) rounds off a sterling cast. Make no doubts about it, this is a underdog story, a story that has been told over and over, but there are so many quirky and interesting gags, physical and sometimes painful comedy that for me, so far, this film gets “Comedy of the Month”. Definately worth a watch!

 

Review: Pan's Labyrinth

When you think about fairy tales, you'll probably think about the likes of Snow White, Cinderella and Peter Pan; but in Pan's Labyrinth, the new film by Guillermo del Toro (Hellboy, Blade II), the fairies couldn't be more different to the stereotypical "Tinkerbell". Instead of being a glimmering and beautiful entity of the light, del Toro's versions are dark and twisted creatures with the ability to transform into praying mantis-esque bugs. But this 'fairy tale gone bad' doesn't stop there though; not by a long way. Set in the post-war repression of Franco's Spain, Pan's Labyrinth has a unique and captivative style that can be only loosly compared to a mixture of Jim Henson's cult epic "Mirrormask" and Tim Burton's "Edward Scissorhands" with a bit of the game "Escape to Castle Wolfenstien" thrown in for good measure. It's a tale of good verses evil, bravery and adventure, deceit and betrayal, passion and sacrifice and it encapsulates some the most interesting though disturbing creatures that you're ever likely to find in a film.

Pan, one of the principle characters is a fawn at one with nature, his lower half totally covered in branches and leaves, but despite his good intentions of returning the princess to the thrown he comes across as a scary and malicious creature. The darkest character that dwells in the Labyrinth though is The Pale Man (pictured below). As we're introduced to him, he sits at the head of a table, still, quiet, terrifying! Behind him are images on the wall of him devouring live children while they scream and pray for his mercy. His face reminds me of that of a stingray, featureless but menacing, his stature powerful and brutal. In front of him sit two eyeballs on a plate, and when he finally rises they are inserted into stigmata like holes in the palms of his hands creating a truly unique and distubing character that has to be seen to be believed!

However dark the creatures in the Labyrinth though, nothing compares to Sergi López's brutal monster that is Captain Vidal; a man that tortures, kills in cold blood, beats his wife and step child and in one of the brutalist scenes I've ever come across, literally caves a young mans face in with the butt of a wine bottle. López plays him wonderfully and captures the cold and sinister fascist that Vidal portrays.

The main ray of light though comes from Ofelia, played by 12 year old child superstar Ivama Baquero. Her portayal of innocence, beauty and love is quite captivating as she fearlessly sheds her fear of the dangers that lie both within and outside of the Labyrinth. The film centers around her character and the fact that the creatures of the Labyrinth believe that she is the returned princess from their realm; but to prove that she is and not just mortal, she has to perform three tasks and here lies basis for our film. The fantasy aside though, this is a film about fascism, and the fact that fascism corrupts innocence and thus childhood!

All in all, I enjoyed the film, but I wouldn't recommend it for the faint hearted or children unless you can stomach brutal killings, seeing a leg being saw off, watching a man's mouth being slit from ear to ear then seeing him sew it up again, scary creatures of a warped imagination and some generally horrifying images of a fascist post-war environment.

Also, as the film is in Spanish, it's subtitled, but a lot of the time the acting is so strong that you barely notice, unless you have an incident like mine where "Mr Inconsiderate Six Foot Four Man" two rows infront of me decided he wanted to sit bolt upright part way through the film, obscuring my view of a lot of the text. Wonderful!

I'd have to say that I wouldn't rush to the cinema to see Pan's Labyrinth, but I will definitely be getting it on DVD when it comes out, and I can already see this becoming a major cult classic in underground circles.