Andy's Land of Adventure

Talk About Stating The Obvious

On my lunch break today I was coming back from Oxford Street where'd I'd been buying some new sports clothes (more about that in a moment) and an announcement came over the loudspeakers.

"Can you please not walk on the tracks. Walking on the tracks is very dangerous."

Talk about stating the obvious. Prankster, suicide attempt, cry for help or misguided drunk; unfortunately I don't know as I was leaving the station at the time, but is someone in a fair amount of trouble? I'd expect yes, yes they are.

Anyway, I was on my way back from what has to be one of the greatest shops ever, Sports World on Oxford Street. Recently, as I've been stocking up on more and more sports goods I'd generally being going to Nike Town and paying somewhat silly amounts for shorts, tops and the ever essential trainer socks and kind of accepting that as the norm. I now know there's another way. On Saturday, Roz had wanted to go to play tennis over Brockwell Park courts but I didn't have a racquet so I trundled into Oxford Street to try and get one. JD and JJB Sports should merge together into one shop and call themselves "We Only Sell Trainers" as that's all that they had. Wall-to-wall trainers in all colours shapes and sizes. So, I want looking for greener pastures and came across a basement shop called Sports World. This place is immense.

Not only did I find a tennis racquet, but I found a £100 Head Professional titanium racquet for just £20, and then four Slazanger balls for just £2. So today I went back there as I needed some trainer socks and left with those as well as some long black Nike shorts and two red Nike training tops (one of which I want to put a personal training advert on the back of) which at Nike Town would have totalled around £120, but from Sports World, for exactly the same products as 200 metres down the road, £35.

Sure, they're probably off the back of a lorry, but with prices like that, who cares!

The Long And Short Of It

Aside from the rather odd expressions, could my hair gone any more from one extreme to the other in the last three years? If you're wondering, the picture on the left is from when I worked at BT from 2003 to 2004 in lovely Ipswich (the word lovely there is also a cunning lie). It's amazing the things that FaceBook digs up!

I've Seen 211 Out Of 239 Films

x Rocky Horror Picture Show
x Grease
x Pirates of the Caribbean
x Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
x Boondock Saints
x Fight Club
x Starsky and Hutch
x Neverending Story
x Blazing Saddles
x Airplane
Total: 10

x The Princess Bride
x AnchorMan
x Napoleon Dynamite
x Labyrinth
x Saw
x Saw II
x White Noise
White Oleander
x Anger Management
x 50 First Dates
x The Princess Diaries
The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 19

x Scream
x Scream 2
x Scream 3
x Scary Movie
x Scary Movie 2
x Scary Movie 3
x Scary Movie 4
x American Pie
x American Pie 2
x American Wedding
x American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 30

x Harry Potter 1
x Harry Potter 2
x Harry Potter 3
x Harry Potter 4
x Resident Evil 1
x Resident Evil 2
x The Wedding Singer
x Little Black Book
x The Village
x Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 40

x Finding Nemo
x Finding Neverland
x Signs
x The Grinch
x Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
x White Chicks
x Butterfly Effect
x 13 Going on 30
x I, Robot
x Robots
Total so far: 50

x Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
x Universal Soldier
x Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
x Along Came Polly
x Deep Impact
x KingPin
x Never Been Kissed
x Meet The Parents
x Meet the Fockers
Eight Crazy Nights
Joe Dirt
x KING KONG
Total so far: 60

A Cinderella Story
x The Terminal
x The Lizzie McGuire Movie
x Passport to Paris
x Dumb & Dumber
x Dumber & Dumberer
x Final Destination
x Final Destination 2
x Final Destination 3
x Halloween
x The Ring
x The Ring 2
x Surviving X-MAS
x Flubber
Total so far: 73

x Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
Practical Magic
x Chicago
x Ghost Ship
x From Hell
x Hellboy
x Secret Window
x I Am Sam
x The Whole Nine Yards
x The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 82

x The Day After Tomorrow
x Child's Play
x Seed of Chucky
x Bride of Chucky
x Ten Things I Hate About You
x Just Married
x Gothika
x Nightmare on Elm Street
Sixteen Candles
Remember the Titans
x Coach Carter
x The Grudge
x The Grudge 2
x The Mask
x Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 95

x Bad Boys
x Bad Boys 2
Joy Ride
x Lucky Number Slevin
x Ocean's Eleven
x Ocean's Twelve
x Bourne Identity
x Bourne Supremecy
x Lone Star
Bedazzled
x Predator I
x Predator II
The Fog
x Ice Age
x Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
Curious George
Total so far: 108

x Independence Day
Cujo
x A Bronx Tale
x Darkness Falls
x Christine
x ET
x Children of the Corn
My Bosses Daughter
x Maid in Manhattan
x War of the Worlds
x Rush Hour
x Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 118

Best Bet
x How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
x She's All That
x Calendar Girls
x Sideways
x Mars Attacks
x Event Horizon
x Ever After
x Wizard of Oz
x Forrest Gump
x Big Trouble in Little China
x The Terminator
x The Terminator 2
x The Terminator 3
Total so far: 131

x X-Men
x X2
x X-3
x Spider-Man
x Spider-Man 2
Sky High
x Jeepers Creepers
x Jeepers Creepers 2
x Catch Me If You Can
x The Little Mermaid
x Freaky Friday
x Reign of Fire
The Skulls
x Cruel Intentions
x Cruel Intentions 2
x The Hot Chick
x Shrek
x Shrek 2
Total so far: 147

x Swimfan
x Miracle on 34th street
x Old School
x The Notebook
x K-Pax
Krippendorf's Tribe
x A Walk to Remember
x The Castles
x Boogeyman
x The 40-year-old-virgin
Total so far: 156

x Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
x Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
x Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
x Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
x Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
x Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 162

x BASEketball
x Hostel
Waiting for Guffman
x House of 1000 Corpses
x Devils Rejects
x Elf
x Highlander
x Mothman Prophecies
x American History X
Three
Total so Far: 170

x The Jacket
x Kung Fu Hustle
x Shaolin Soccer
x Night Watch
x Monsters Inc.
x Titanic
x Monty Python and the Holy Grail
x Shaun Of the Dead
Willard
Total so far: 178

High Tension
x Club Dread
x Hulk
x Dawn Of the Dead
x Hook
x Chronicle Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
x 28 days later
x Orgazmo
x Phantasm
x Waterworld
Total so far: 187

x Kill Bill vol 1
x Kill Bill vol 2
x Mortal Kombat
x Wolf Creek
x Kingdom of Heaven
x the Hills Have Eyes
x I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
The Last House on the Left
x Re-Animator
x Army of Darkness
Total so far: 196

x Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
x Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
x Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
x Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
x Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
x Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 202

x The Matrix
x The Matrix Reloaded
x The Matrix Revolutions
x Animatrix
x Evil Dead
x Evil Dead 2
x Team America: World Police
x Red Dragon
x Silence of the Lambs
Hannibal
Total so far: 211

Now Add them up and put "I've seen --- out of 239 films" in the subject line and repost it.

The Great "How To Get Happy" Debate

Talking in my last post about all the things that I want to do reminded me of something else. It's the whole drink vs drugs question that arises from time to time. It's quite a controversial subject, but hey, you've got to talk about these things don't you!

Point 1 - Death
Let's take a little look at the global death toll for drink vs drugs in 2006. Drug-related deaths accounted for approximately 2,675 deaths last year. Quite a sizable sum you might think with an average of one death per three and a half hours on average, but then lets look at alcohol. Alcohol accounted for over 21,000 deaths in 2006, that's one very 25 minutes, almost 10 times as many.
You're bound to have heard countless stories about people drinking themselves to death, but what about weed. Ever heard of someone smoking themselves to death?

Point 2 - Price
Living in London I know that to go out and get a bit drunk on a Friday night would cost me in the region of £60 - £100 depending on the venue and the kind of night that it is. If I was to go and spend that same amount on Class A and C grade drugs (weed or skunk at about £15 and eighth, E's at about £2.50 a time or coke at around £30 to £60 a gram*) then you could buy sufficent to get baked or high or jolly for a whole week easily. Also, drinks prices are going up and up along with everything else. As the market becomes slowly more competitive, drug prices are actually coming down.

Point 3 - After Effects
You know you bad you feel after a night out on the drink? You know, the hangover. Well you don't get that with drugs. The reason you feel so bad after drinking is because the alcohol dehydrates the brain causing the brain-pain. Class A and C drugs, for the most part, don't cause these effects so you can go and and get very merry on your drug of choice and not feel crap about it in the morning.

Point 4 - Profitability and The Law
Think of it this way. Alcohol comes in literally thousands of flavours making the producers of it literally billions of pounds a year. These billion pound companies do what all other billion pound companies do; pay a shit load in tax. And who gets this tax? None other than the same government that makes our laws and regulations. Then, along comes something like weed, a substance that is proven to have significantly less of a negative effect on the human body than alcohol does, and it's made illegal. Why? Simple reason. It's a plant, and you can't really patent a plant can you? Being a nice taxable drug, alcohol gets away with the harm it causes to thousands of peoples lives each year, but something new comes along that's better for you but not taxable; that's a big no no!

Point 5 - Addiction
Where do people who get addicted to alcohol go to? That's right, the AA. Did you know that the AA is a massive religous cult? No? Neither did I until I looked into this more, but check out their Twelve Step Program - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twelve-step_program. It's scary reading. They get people when they're at their lowest and turn them to "God" for help. It's disgusting. Now, where do drug addicts go? Not to some group, but to rehab. Hell, even Robbie Williams has been to rehab. It's got to be better than sitting in a room and confessing to a load of strangers that you have a problem.

Point 6 - Religion
Alcohol is man made. Weed is grown, weed is nature. Are the people outlawing it saying that God is wrong?

So what's the answer. Well that's up for you to decide, I just tell the facts

100 Things To Do Before You Die

Last night was interesting. Highly painful but interesting never-the-less. There's lots and lots of things that I've wanted to try out of sheer curiousity and so that I can say I've experienced it, including dying my hair bright blond and having my chest waxed. I'd obviously already tried the former and up until last night, I'd not tried the other, but much to Roz's giddy excitement I let her do the latter. Bloody hell that's vicious. Hair's that have been there for 15 years or so obviously had gotten quite attacted to being part of my body and put up a real fight when it came to being forcefully ripped out of my skin. I managed to grit my teeth and get through it all though, even though I had to finish the job as Roz somehow managed to leave me patchier than the yeti in malting season.

Anyway, this whole event got me thinking about all the other things that I'd like to experience before I die and we spoke about making a list of the "100 Things To Do Before You Die". To be honest, I don't know if I could come up with 100 things straight away off the top of my head, but this is my quick list of things that I can think of right now (in no particular order). Sure, some of them are very typical, but some are a little more weird. Some are obviously illegal, but I'm not saying that I want to become a criminal, there just things that I'd want to experience so that I can lie on my death bed without thinking "I wish I'd tried that".

1. Jump out of an aeroplane (sky diving)
2. Get shot (not fatally)
3. Swim with sharks
4. Have my own book published
5. Appear on TV
6. Cycle around the edge of Australia
7. Spend a year (or more) touring the world
8. Be chased by the police (on foot and in a car)
9. Do proper 'free-running' in London
10. Work in the States
11. 'Do' Eliza Dushku
12. 'Do' Shannon Elizabeth
13. 'Do' Eliza Dushku and Shannon Elizabeth at the same time (do you blame me)
14. Sail a boat in the ocean
15. Run a marathon
16. Set a World Record (not as part of a group)
17. Have a stranger recognise me
18. Be on a jury
19. Visit a prison
20. Drive over 300mph
21. Do that thing where you turn up at an airport on a Friday night and just jump on the first cancelled seat anywhere for the weekend
22. Get married
23. Have children (ideally a boy and two girls)
24. Complete an ironman triathlon
25. Try cocaine
26. Discover something
27. Invent something
28. Climb a mountain
29. Walk the Great Wall of China
30. Go into Space
31. Spend a million pounds in a day
32. Throw a TV from a hotel window
33. Go "all on black" on a Las Vegas roulette table
34. Spray a rude word on the top of a building so that it appears on Google Earth
35. Write an successful song
36. Get in an adult street fight (not the kiddie ones I've been in in the past)
37. Try escargot
38. Be struck by lightning
39. See all the Seven Wonders of the World
40. See the Mona Lisa and The Last Supper
41. Ride down a beach on a horse
42. Smash a guitar on a stage
43. Meet an alien (unlikely I know)
44. Fire a machine gun
45. Own a monkey
46. Be in a film
47. Shower in a waterfall
48. Ride the five biggest roller coasters in the World
49. Bungee out of a helicopter above the Grand Canyon
50. Drive a Harley down Highway 88
51. Go up in a hot-air balloon
52. Snowboard a double-black diamond run
53. Be in a car crash
54. Erm...

Ok, so I ran out way before 100, but I'm sure given time I could come up with more. Are there any things that I haven't mentioned that you want to do before you die?

The Results So Far

I thought you might like to see a picture of me now that I've been training for a while. What do you think?

Running With No Clothes

Today I did something different. I ran to work. I figure, if I'm going to be doing training for a living, I've got to be able to do an hours running without too much trouble. Also, I'll need to be able to do it for my triathlon in September which is a 2km swim, 60km cycle and 15km run, which is a middle distance triathlon but still a fair challenge for a first real 'race'. It's my short-term goal though and I'm looking forward to it now as it'll be a good practise for the Ironman that I'm hoping to be accepted into next year.

Anyway, I jogged to work with my kit bag on my back in just over 45 minutes, but I was pacing myself as I didn't know what the distance was and how long it was going to take me. Without my bag, now knowing the distance and the pace that I can set myself I'm pretty sure I could do it in about 30 minutes or so. When I got to the office, I went and had a shower before realising I'd forgotten all my 'normal' clothes. so I'm sitting here now in my shorts and trainers and a bright pink lastminute.com branded t-shirt that I managed to pilfer from the fourth floor. Once I'd sorted that, I stuck my morning run into http://www.runlondon.com and found that it's 9.4km to work, so given the time I did it in I'm pretty happy. If I can do it 30 minutes, I'll be well chuffed. If you're interested, this is the route I took.

Somehow, I managed to do it without getting lost at all, which is a really odd for me. Maybe I'm getting better at my directions. Or maybe I was just lucky

Are You A Record Breaker?

Golly gosh (yes I just said that), I've got so many things to write about today, so be prepared for lots of little posts as opposed to one really freakin' big one.

I'll start with the most exciting news of all. I am now a World Record holder, and it's record I set with my nuts. Yes, set a World Record by banging my nuts together in the largest ever coconut orchestra (well what other sort of nuts did you think I meant). The previous best was set in New York when 1,789 people got together and bashed their coconuts together to some tune or other, but this time, 5,567 budding Londonites set on Trafalgar Square and battered the record into submission to the tune of "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life", conducted and lead by the cast of Monty Python's west-end hit Spam-a-lot.

Also making an appearance was Terry Jones and Terry Gilliam who both co-wrote and starred in the original Monty Python and The Holy Grail. It's nice to see that they care about these things, and that Terry Gilliam can still perform as Patsy (King Arthur's horse in the original) just as well as ever.

You can see all the pictures from the event here - http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=1978&l=dc421&id=508514070 and watch the full five minute World Record breaking attempt below. And if you're wondering how I participated and recorded at once; well I perfected the one hand coconut clap. Simple when you know how

Buzzzzzzzzzzz

Oh yeah, I almost forgot to mention. After a haircut gone wrong (cutting it yourself is deceptively difficult) I cut all my hair off again. Well, razored it, so it's proper gone again. Means it'll be easier to take care of while I'm training all the time anyway. Ho hum

A Jolly Spiffing Night

It was a funny old weekend, but certainly one of the most interesting ones that I've had in a while. After a massive amount of fussing, pestering and hunting I managed to hire a lovely white-tie, dress and tails tuxedo complete with top hat ready for a Moulin Rouge themed Ball at Exeter College in Oxford. For those who don't know. Exeter College is one of the colleges of Oxford University, so when Becky, Sara, Koulla and me received the invite email about it we jumped on the chance to go for an evening mingling with all the clever-clog toffs. As I'm sure you can expect, the free transport, unlimited free food and alcohol, free shisha, free entertainment including fire-eaters and breathers, magicians, live bands, acrobats and the free chocolate fountains had nothing to do with our decision; they were just a tiny bonus; honest!

So, after meeting up and Becky's and getting ready we head off on the bus and the underground to the train, and at every stage of our journey got odd looks, comments, heckling, window banging and even the occasional beeping car. I suppose a guy dressed in a full tux and top hat, in the middle of a hot Saturday, accompanied by two ladies in posh ball gowns will turn the odd head though.

I could talk loads about the amusing ten-piece vocal 'boy-band', the questionable DJ in the dance tent, losing my bow-tie at some point during the night, everyone saying that they were drunk by 9:30pm, the end of the night and taxi journey that I have no recollection of, the guy who claimed he was Johnny Depp's bum double, blowing shisha smoke filled bubbles, dinging the bell on test your strength, Becky hardly being able to lift the hammer on the test your strength, a rather tasteless hotdog, a rather tasty chocolate fountain and a guy with the biggest hat in the World; but I won't. I think that the pictures tell a fine story all by themselves, so feel free to have a gander at this little lot. Suffice to say, a very good time was had by all!

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=1949&l=122cd&id=508514070