Andy's Land of Adventure

Dum dicca dum dicca dum

That's the Rocky tune, if you didn't know. Well I did it! I watched all five films, though not back to back. I couldn't quite hack that. I only braved through II and III as I knew IV was coming, and IV is the best one I think. "If he dies, he dies" - God bless that heartless Russian - but if he's good enough to play He-man in Masters of the Universe way back in 1987 then he's ok in my book. Funnily enough, that's one of the first films I ever remember going to see. Well, trying to see. It was full when I got there with my dad, and I got a bit upset (I was only 5) so he bought me some Smarties and that made it all better.

It's amazing how something so small as that can completely lift your spirits. I still get it to a degree, but not with Smarties anymore, instead it's usually alcohol - the solver and causer of most of life's problems. You'll be glad to know that I'm feeling a ton better today than yesterday when I was a little down. I'm not going to get into why, as the people who need to know already do, and the people who care will ask, but like I just said, it was just a little thing. I suppose I'm a bit odd, and things that matter to me don't always matter to other people. Sure, I'm kind of set in my ways, but at the same time I'm very malleable and change the way I do things as and when I need to. I'm waffling now and to be honest am no longer very sure what I'm talking about. I'm sure I made a point in there somewhere though. Good job me!

Anyway, it's my last night in Burton before returning to London tomorrow evening. I'm not going to get back until about 9pm so I guess I won't be doing anything in the evening other than finding holes for all my Christmas presents and preparing the room for it's makeover on Saturday. As I got vouchers for a new wardrobe as part of my presents I'm going out to get one of those Sat morning (I've been after one for ages). I'm also going to get a CD / DVD storage rack as I'm badly in need of one because I'm quickly building up a stock of some 'legitimate' ones. I blame the radio. God, usually I'd be doing the show now. I knew there was something that takes up my Thursday evenings. I'll be looking forward to getting back to that next week. I'm also looking forward to New Years Eve now! Typical that it's on a Sunday though!

I don't know what the exact plan is for NYE yet. Becky and I are doing something, but plans are constantly changing. Originally there was going to be a small party, which was then a slightly larger party, and is now no party. M'eh... doesn't matter. I'm not really fussed about going out of the town and being fleeced of all my hard-earned cash on over-priced entrance prices, alcohol and transport, and hell, we're good at making our own fun, so I'm sure it will be awesome whatever goes on!

Burton Boozers

Last night was the mandatory yearly "Christmas night out with the people from back home that I don't despise". We do it every year. Me, Fred (it's short for his real name Ian), Conan (yes that's his real name) and Darren hit the Burton tiles for some Midlands style drinkage.

Every time I meet that lot, it makes me glad that I still have all my hair. Fred's is going a bit short and Conan's... well... his had gone a long time ago!

Anyway, we started at the local Wetherspoons before moving onto The Dog and then a place that I recall used to be The Appleby but I can't remember what it's called now, but I do remember there was karaoke and I asked for a song as the big lesbian put on the wrong one so I didn't know any of the words. And no, I don't feel that the term "big lesbian" is unfair. She was a 'stocky' lass to say the least and kept kissing who I can only guess was her girlfriend. There was also a chocolate fondue fountain and loads of finger food. I don't know why it was there, but we had no trouble eating it guilt free.

There's not a lot else to tell though really. We reminisced on old times, spoke about what we knew people from "back then" are doing these days and had a skin full of beer. I actually got a lot drunker than I've got in quite a long time which was odd as I didn't drink as much as I know I can.

Anyway, I'm feeling a bit depressive today so can't be bothered to type loads - I think I'm missing people, and London, and now that what I was planning for my last couple of days here isn't happening I just want to go back home but can't until Friday as that's when my coach leaves. Oh well, I suppose I can make the most of the good home cooked food.

Didn't he do well!?!

Well it's coming up to 9:00pm on Christmas Day, and what a nice couple of days it's been. It started yesterday with the yearly party at my auntie's house where I fooled all the younger cousins (and some of the adults) with my card tricks and some sleight of hand that I've about mastered now; Cid, the family dog somehow found all of the egg and cheese tarts and the eight mince pies in the hallway and took great pleasure in devouring them all before wandering around the house leaving eggy fart smells wherever he went, and I taught a few of the family some basic salsa steps which all got a bit more frantic and upbeat as we danced towards 1am. It's all good fun.

Then today, Christmas Day, my Grandad and his brother - the infamous great uncle Bob (yep, Bob really is my uncle) - came around for our massive Christmas dinner that was expertly cooked by my mum as usual. I love Christmas dinners. If that was the only thing that was dished out on the day, it would still make the whole event worthwhile and me a very happy chappy. But in the Whitehead family, Christmas is a time where we all tend to overdo the spending, so I'll be walking away with much more than a full stomach.

I actually got a Solid Acoustic Guitar Case, a 6 foot Camera Tripod, Lost Season 1 Boxset, Family Guy Season 4 Boxset, Radio 1's Live Lounge album, The Anthems album, The Kooks - Inside In / Inside Out, Now 65, The R'n'B Yearbook, a 1Gb XD Memory Card, some Jack Daniels Tumblers, Socks and Boxers, a Scarf, the book "Don't Push When You're Meant To Pull", a Fabric Wardrobe, a couple of Candles, lots of Chocolate (which I'm sure Becky will help devour) and £35 in cash. Pretty good going all in all.

I also gave out a lot more than usual this year too. For my parents (together) I got a Weekend Spa Break at a destination of their choice, my dad also got a Santana - Supernatural Live DVD, The Eagles Tour DVD and the new Jeremy Clarkson book and my mum had a Scarf and Jacket. My brother got  the Lost Series 1 DVD and The White Stripes - De Stigl album as well as something that I knew he'd love - an acre of land... on the moon! Becky got the most by far though. We agreed to a "limit", which I totally ignored, but I figure, when you really like someone, you really want to spoil them, so she got Little Britain Series 1, 2 and 3 Boxset, Spaced Series 1 & 2, a bottle of Kenzo Amore perfume and a Comedy Mug featuring a cat in a washing machine. Oh, and the box I gave it to her in was full of Roses (the chocolate kind). I actually got something else for her - possibly the best (but certainly the cheesiest) thing of hers - but it's yet to arrive so I guess she'll have a belated present, or a New Year's one at least. I wonder what I'll get off her. She's already given me the best thing ever; a t-shirt (that she made herself) that says on it "I'm going to write about you on my blog" on the front. How freaking cool (and appropriate) is that!?! I'll get a picture of it on here in the next few days.

Anyway, my dad is shouting that it's Trivial Pursuit time, so I've got to run! Hope you've all had ace Christmas's.

Love Andy

Could it be magic?

Long journeys aren't usually very fun, and my five hour excursion to Burton from London last night was no exception, bar my one saving grace; the new Derren Brown book - Tricks of the Mind. The cover puts it better than I ever could - "He's either the world's most balls-out con artist, or the scariest man in Britain". The tricks you can learn in there are astounding. I've already made coins disappear in front of people's eyes and fleeced my dad for a tenner with a perfectly executed card trick - cheers dad!

It's not all about tricks though. It's about the principles of what he does, and how he got into it. It teaches you how to perform clever misdirection, and how to memorise long lists of items and suchlike using the chain, loci and peg methods. I tried it on my parents last night with 20 items, and even now I can remember the list of Flag, Peanut, Box, Bauble, Nose, Train, Brick, Curtain, Stick, Hamster, Bench, Monolith, Flower, Necklace, Lion, Crayon, Pimple, Ghost, Slipper and Tray. They should teach this stuff in schools. It would help people pass exams much more easily. I wish I'd known how to do it a few years ago.

I suppose a fascination with all this "magic" started when I was about six and got a Paul Daniel's magic set for a birthday or Christmas or something. I don't recall, but I remember it was a big blue box. Even then, I delighted in being able to fool people with my tricks, though at the time they were a lot more set up than the off the cuff stuff that I'm trying now. It's amazing, but I think years of playing musical instruments help. It means I'm really good with my hands for both speed and accuracy, so I can do things now that I couldn't do then, like pulling cards, coins and suchlike out of thin air using sleight of handor misdirect and manipulate people's vision how I want to! I've only been trying it a few days but about have it nailed now. I'm going to try it on some of my younger cousins tonight at the family Christmas Eve party. For the adults, I'm going to do some money fleecing. I've already paid for the return trip. Magic is fun!

On that note, something struck me last night. I spent double the money getting the three miles from Derby to Burton in a taxi than I did getting all the way from London to Derby. Typical.

So thank you Derren Brown for an amazing in-site to your scarily fascinating little goateed head! Anyway, I'm going back to my book to learn how to hypnotise people! Beware all those who cross my magical path!

Happy Christmas Everybody

Happy Christmas to all my blog readers!

And to ring in the Christmas spirit, here are some Christmas movies for your entertainment. I defy you to watch all of these and not feel Christmassy!

Slade - Merry Christmas Everybody

Wizzard - I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday!

Love Actually - All I Want for Christmas

Band Aid - Do They Know It's Christmas

Bruce Pringsteen - Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

Frank Sinatra - Let It Snow

Wham - Last Christmas

Elton John - Step Into Christmas

The Snowman - Walking In The Air

The Pogues - Fairytale Of New York

Shakin' Stevens - Merry Christmas Everyone

Setting the record straight

Ok ok ok... just to straighten it out, I don't actually think that I am going to lose my job, or that Becky is going to leave me, I just meant that I felt in the kind of mood that you'd feel like if that was happening. But I'm better now! Lovely

Paranoia will destroy ya

I don't know why, but at the moment I have this feeling that my life is about to come crashing down around me. Maybe it's because I feel happier than I think I've ever been, and I feel like everything is going so well in my life and I just don't understand how something so amazing can be happening to me, so I just think I'm going to lose it all.

I have an amazing girlfriend who I'm totally crazy about, I have a really cool job in a great company that I'm really enjoying, I'm having loads of fun in a city that provides me with things to do 24/7 and my hair has finally grown back, but something feels off. Over the last few days I've gotten emotional a lot and have actually cried a couple of times for no reason at all. Even though I have no reason to, I suddenly expect that I'm going to lose my job, and I expect that Becky is going to leave me and it just crush me, and that I'm going to take a chance on something and fail miserably - though I have no idea what.

I really can't explain it. This must be what PMT feels like. I'm happy but upset, energetic but tired, ecstatic but depressed and I have no idea what's going on around me. Sometimes I wish I could read minds, but one thing's for sure; paranoia is no fun, no fun at all.

In at number 10 this week...

Why do ex's like to talk to me about issues with their current guys? Why did I wake up this morning underneath an open window shivering so much I'm sure there were icicles hanging from my nose? Why was I only wearing one sock on my right foot? Why does my left calf and the small of my back really hurt today and why can I constantly spell aniseed? These are the questions that I'm sure I'll never know the answers too, as today is the day after the Christmas party!

I arrived in this morning at the not-too-shabby time of 10:00am, which wasn't bad being as my head didn't hit the pillow until after 2:30am. It could have been worse though. Miss Becky and some others didn't get home until gone 4:00am and I had to call her and wake her when I got to work, else I have no idea what time she would have got in! Oh well. It's all part and parcel of the media-lifestyle I suppose. I think pretty much everyone in the office drifted in between 10:00 and 11:00am this morning, most of who were looking pretty worse for wear. It was a surprisingly good night though. I say surprisingly as I was expecting it to be pretty pants as I said in a blog a couple of days ago, but it was actually really good.

It all started at 5:00pm-ish, when me and some of the tech guys went to get a "pre-drinks pizza". A sensible idea I think you'll agree. If you didn't know we were techies when we sat down, you would have soon guessed as the conversation moved from comparisons of our first PCs, the computer games we loved and finally who would win the digital race between Blu-Ray and HD-DVD. Riviting times in tech-land!

From there we trotted over to the Ministry of Sound in Elephant and Castle, and it kicked off big time with free drinks, decent networking and a really fun social atmosphere. It was really nice as I spoke to people I'd never met before, or people I kinda knew but had never really spoken to, and they were all awesome. Anyway, the pictures tell a better story that I can, but there's soooo many, I'll do a rundown of my top 40 - radio style!

40 - It's just a really well framed picture

39 - Is that Boy George or what?

38 - I had to include Brent - he paid after all

37 - It all looks pretty comfortable

36 - Ozzy Osborne came to join the fun

35 - We're just like identical twins

34 - A great crowd shot

33 - Sara from the farm

32 - It's Ian aka T2000, a robot from the future

31 - Hurrah

30 - Y.M.C.A

29 - It's got 'fun' written all over it

28 - I don't know why I look so scared

27 - Posers? Noooo!

26 - Don't crowd me all at once

25 - Cowboy Dan

24 - A French looking Russ doesn't know why he's so wet

23 - Have I farted or am I confused? Who knows?

22 - Perfectly capturing a moment

21 - Some shadowy strangeness

20 - If you look closely, you can see Niall's soul leaving his body

19 - Laurent and his lovely hat

18 - 'ello 'ello 'ello

17 - Could Jessica get any closer to the camera?

16 - Just a great picture of Koulla

15 - Ingrid loves to dance

14 - Sophie giving it some real attitude

13 - How Hannah got her coat back despite losing her ticket

12 - Max's winning moment (he got Player of the Year)

11 - The name's Kershaw, Ian Kershaw

10 - I call this one Flora and Andy the optimist :o)

9 - Going Ape

8 - Mark aka Desperate Dan

7 - These "up from the floor" shots are all the range these days

6 - Russ put it best when he simply said "the fit" and set it as his wallpaper!

5 - Random moments

4 - Claire gets greedy with the hats

3 - Ingrid getting down with her bad self

2 - I think the turkey just laid a Laurent

1 - Yes. It's lame that I picked one of me, but I love this picture (taken by Russ). Pure retardation

I think the images round up the total madness that was the night. Same again tonight then. And tomorrow. And the day after that. And so on!

Straight from hell

Yes, I'm probably going to burn for this post, but I don't care. I was browsing T-shirt Hell earlier and found myself in hysterics at some of the t-shirts, so I thought I'd share the best dozen or so with you. I wonder what they say about my personality? Why don't you tell me!

Don't mess with this baby!